How Do You Feel In Your Own Skin?

How Do You Feel In Your Own Skin?

Hello Beautiful People

How Do You Feel In Your Own Skin?

As a kid I always felt uncomfortable in my own skin…

I would look at other girls and admire their legs, or their waist, their bust, or their face. I never felt like I even compared to them. I felt like a solid girl, not overweight but just solid. It was something that played on my mind right through my childhood and teenage years. So to make up for the way I felt I played sports and I played it to the best of my ability because if I wasn’t known for being the prettiest, or the slimiest, or the bustiest girl… I was going to be known for being the sportiest girl.

However although I was good at my sports and I would play my heart out on court and swim until my arms were going to drop off, I still never felt good in my own skin. I still looked at other girls and wished I had their slim legs, or beautiful facial features, or thick long hair.

I have spent most of my life feeling this way, wishing I didn’t look like me….

For most girls that feel this way it can be quite damaging to them, mentally, physically and socially. For me it was an internal thing that I never vocalized to anyone. Most people I know would not believe that I felt this way because I learnt how to be confident on the outside to hide the inside.

Over the years the coping mechanisms changed, it started out as smoking and experimenting with drugs as a teen which became addictions. Then I managed to refocus in my 20s and started training and going to the gym and tried many different ways of eating and dieting. Then in my 30s I became addicted to painkillers…. They gave me a little buzz like drugs but no paranoia but they reduced my appetite and they made me feel good about myself.

Through all of this I grew, learned, and evolved. I managed to refocus myself again and find my true passion in life.

As I am about to begin my 40s I look back at all these internal feelings and realize that the little girl is still there, she is still comparing herself to others, she still has to find the confidence to put herself in challenging situations and she still feels like a solid girl. But I know that this is me and the older I get the more comfortable I am becoming.

I think for me it is not about what I am not…

It is about what I stand for and what I want to be remembered for.

As a kid there was so much going on in my life that was horrible that I just wanted to be beautiful.

As a teenager there was still so much horrible stuff going on that I just wanted to be accepted.

In my 20s I felt free and I just wanted to be loved and in my 30s I just wanted to find out who I really was and what was really important to me.

So as I move forward to this next exciting stage I know what I stand for, what I want to be remembered for and I know what is really important to me….

Being alive, being happy, being healthy and being an inspiration to others is what makes me feel good in my own skin. We are all on a journey to finding out who we really are and we should never look back…

We should always learn from experience and always look forward because that is where we will be our best.

In Good Health

Bree xxx